I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Say something about gay babies.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
