so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
