hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize