I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
tell me about the eggs
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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