So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
