I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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