One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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