ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
