Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
