it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
