When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
