Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
