Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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