this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
