mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
high people should be assigned attendants
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
