shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
