Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
