Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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