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i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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