the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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