How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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