You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
