absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
