we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
