Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
