Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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