Swine flu. Run for my life!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
