please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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