What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
