Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
