Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
