Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
