Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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