Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
