So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
