why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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