is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize