I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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