YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
