take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
