can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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