She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
