you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
