I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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