This girl is more easily done than said...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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