Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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