he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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