I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize