Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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