Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just cropdusted the office
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
