If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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