He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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