i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
two words...techno handjob
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
