So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize