I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
