He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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