I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
