had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
