I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
