im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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