it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
