How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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