I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
