i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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