I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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