C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
