it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am one with the molecules
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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