I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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