I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
