OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
where are my eyebrows?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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