New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
